Well, first of all, I booked my fight home. My heart is kind of way up in my throat just thinking about it, but I think it was the right choice and I have one more week to really tear shit up.

I don´t know what I told you last, but I climbed a volcano. Just outside of Antigua is an active volcano, Pacaya. I fell in love with our Guatemalan volcano guide– he called me his girlfriend by the end of the hike and made extra sure I traversed the molten lava safely. The thing you must understand about Guatemala is that it´s pretty lawless. We hike up a huge mountain and came to the foot of a volcano which was oozing all over the place, and then the guide says, ‘Okay, now go down there to the lava’. It was a super Lord of the Rings moment. There was, like, this giant reptilian eye at the top watching our every move, we had walking sticks, etc. So you cross a field of black lava which is basically like a field of shifting glass. I cut the hell out of my knuckles. Then you walk right up to molten lava, in fact it’s flowing right beneath the lava you’re standing on. We brought marshmallows for roasting but the rocks were so shifty it was way too risky to step right up to the lava. And then the sun set and you were in pure black hell, and by hell I mean awesome.

This week I made my way over the the middle of Guatemala and stayed in a little riverside town called Lanquin. We stayed in what was basically a Euro/Israeli adult summer camp. The were little cabanas and hammocks slung to and fro. I jumped in the back of a pickup truck in only my Budweiser bikini and an inner tube and the drifted down crystal green river waters. Nearby is one of the most serene and beautiful spots in all of Guatemala. It´s called Semuc Champey and it
is paradise. I climbed through a cave in water up to my neck with a candle as my only light source, and I jumped from the inner wall of the cave into a black pit of water. I told you, lawless this place. Later that same day I jumped from a huge bridge into the river; my landing was not optimal and so my Guatemalan souvenir is a severely bruised ass. AND THEN we swam in a collection of crystal pools and waterfalls. There was a jungle rain…and the appearance from water level was that it was raining up. Oh wait, and then our guide brings out this rope ladder, loosely lashes it around a rock, and throws it over the side of a waterfall and then says,”Okay, climb down”. So you climb down with a waterfall on your head and a rope ladder twisting all over the place, emerge on slippery rocks to a drippy cave beneath the waterfall. So, that was fucking amazing, well worth the risk of losing life or limb.

And then I just got out of control. I went repelling down a fifty-meter cliff with shoddy Guatemalan rigging and a single rope. I am afraid I am not really fit for such activities. I basically crashed my way down the cliff, one horrifying attempt to regain my balance after another. I felt like I was in that Stallone movie, you know, the rock climbing one. I was quite literally holding my life in my hands. I am pretty badly bruised and scraped and sore as all hell, but it´s pretty hilarious to think of me dangling from a cliff, eh?

Anyhow, I left summer camp today and am now traveling with two funny French guys. We are headed to Tikal, Rio Dulce and then, yes, home.

I have to go now tho, Frenchi is getting impatient.

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