January 2007

Monthly Archive

On my way to the bank during my lunch break, I glanced at an ad on the side of a bus stop. I continued walking and stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the little white man to appear and tell me to continue my locomotion to the next corner.

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Just before the cross-traffic light turned red and the light I was waiting for turned green, the words that I had read finally processed. Here is the ad:

ridiculous

Their tagline is “Turn an Exit Into an Entrance.” I’ve never heard of this champagne (Matt tells me it’s a status icon, which explains why I never heard of it), but if it’s going to make some Paris HIlton upstart want to have anal sex with me, I’m buying. Well done ad campaign. I doubt they meant this to be explicit – or maybe my prudish 1982 sensibilities are out of date – but I can’t imagine that someone down the line didn’t realize the double entendre.

If anyone else has a ridiculous ad they’d like to share or post, email me or leave it in the comments of this post.

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It’s been my intention to get a “to-do” list together but as of yet I only remember when I actually find the time and patience to write in my journal and review the latest failings… Been off track a good solid month by now; I’ve run the gauntlet of the holiday season not much worse for wear but still reeling from a variety of events and circumstances which required an easing of my ritualistic everyday existence… I’m a creature of habit but when times demand my flexibility I somehow find a way to loosen the noose and roll with it– finding a way to tighten the noose back up has proven to be a bit more elusive… What’s embarrassing is that it didn’t take much to rip my schedule apart… Christmas is technically only one day out of the year and as my family canadian pharmacy tretinoin cream lives halfway across town there’s not even any requirement that I take time off work, book travel arrangements and figure out how to pack a suitcase so that all my presents fit coming and going… Maybe I felt more pressed because I’ve recently taken on a fifth shift at work and suddenly I have to get shit done on two days when I used to have three… Nothing can be more taxing than finding yourself aimless in the aisles of a store you would never choose to patronize for yourself wondering what you could possibly justify as a caring and thoughtful gift… If anyone mometamax canadian pharmacy was keeping score in the family I’m the clear loser but in the end I did find the time to get the bare minimum for a continued loving familial relationship… Just… New Year’s provided more of a challenge for my day to day as there were suddenly a lot more people in http://genericcialis-onlineed.com/ town who I would love to spend time with except I don’t have the time… Fortunately the bulk of everyone who was in http://genericcialis-onlineed.com/ town are all friends with one another so quality could be found in quantity but I still needed to flip my schedule around and started showing up at work at 9:30 instead of 10:30, or 12:00 or 1:00 as per usual… Making time for the out of towners bears the cost of putting off the people who live in town who you see more frequently but still not as frequently as anyone would like and so after everyone leaves again you’re suddenly booked for two weeks catching up with the people you’ve just been neglecting… In between quick bites and cups of coffee you’re expected to do laundry and make dinner and buy groceries and then it’s sleeping pills and whiskey to make sure you fall asleep early enough to wake up early enough to make it to work early enough so you can leave early and do that thing you planned on doing after work… Instead of spending your lunch hour writing in your journal keeping track of what’s going on and how you feel about it you’re taking half hour lunches and feeling tired all

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the time… At some point it should be possible to reassert the normal order of events and find some sense of balance but here we go with another week coming in early and dealing http://canadiandrugs-medsnorx.com/ with all sorts of surprises… God I wish for a toggle that worked both ways… I think I’m pretty good about flipping when I’m travelling but then I come back and it takes me a month to recuperate from a week away… When you’re out of town you know that you can’t run home to eat a sandwich so you’re going to have to drop ten bucks on a meal… You don’t understand how to make your way from point A to point B so there’s no walking and you’re spending money on subways, cabs, buses or kicking down for gas… It’s like you’re another person entirely– who’s this spendthrift going to museums like they understand culture? Who’s this posh bastard drinking pints of premium at the bar? Then you get home and you’re scrounging to make up for lost time, lost work hours, fighting the disorienting effects of not being away… It’s almost impossible to make dinner suddenly and you’re waiting in line across the street for a falafel… Laundry becomes and alien chore and don’t even think about trying to get up early to get to work early or sitting down for an hour and writing in your journal… And for some reason I think if I just get this “to do” list pasted on the wall I’ll look at it everyday while I get dressed and it’ll wrench my little brain back into shape… This cog turns here and this piston pumps and suddenly I’m back on track getting shit done, being productive, feeling settled and managing my time… Then maybe I can get around to all those projects I’ve been trying to keep http://canadiandrugs-medsnorx.com/ straight in the back of my mind that should have cheap cialis 20mg online been on the list for months or years…

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The title is far too grand for this post which is in truth my own personal reflections on good stuff that America needs to know about. Unfortunately for the yanks amongst our readership, the most chucklesome and inspired comedy I have seen since arriving on these shores is Canadian. Check out the Trailer Park Boys for some boyish rebellion and social debris that is more honest than any offering by American networks. I wouldn’t want to call it social commentary because it isn’t – it is new actors made good by cute script writing and a unique scenario.

I have to admit that when I first arrived in the US of states, John Stewart tickled my fancy. That was five years ago. It was inevitable that Stewart’s platform would eventually be perfected by a greater caricature. The Colbert Report is an inspiration only in

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that it uses the unfathomable logic of American media and politics to poke fun at us all. It’s limitation is its success

– it stabs stoopid Americans in the heart with a stoopid pencil. But only half of America knows what a pencil is, let alone how to use one.

How long will it be before you get sick of Colbert’s rapport? If you’re not turning off your sets when Colbert reaches for his “gutsy” lance of truth, then you should soon. Carry your television set to the roof and throw it to the concrete. What now you ask?

TV is for idiots. Go to youtube, liveleak, videoegg or any web based self broadcast interface of your choosing. All well and good. But where to start? Begin by checking out what the ladies and gents in your home town are doing. You may be surprised…

Alternatively, type in the name of any random mammal followed by the word “attack” and you’ll get some side splitting results. If that doesn’t grab your fancy check out my own sole offering.

Meanwhile, open up another tab and buy, pilfer or download the following recommendations

Time Trumpet. Armando Lanucci continues his smug ambivalence. This clip summarises the distressing trend toward two party, centrist, spin-laded politicking that Britain must now endure. I fear there is no way back. For your information, David Cameron is the leader of the opposition in Britain, but that isn’t important. Cameron recently instructed the Conservative party to post its campaign ads on youtube to attract young voters. Dick.

To be honest, I preferred the days when politicians could throw punches. John Prescott, the deputy prime minister, who is to put it nicely a total tosser, won votes and public favour for this left jab.

BrassEye. I hope that Chris Morris has earned a cult following stateside. His criticisms of media when covering the most sensitive subjects, such as paedophilia, drug abuse and immigration may seem a little close to the bone, but how else are we to deal with public hysteria and corporate thought control amongst nations of idiots? If you can’t reconcile souped up graphics and sensational coverage with real issues on your doorstep then Morris has proved his point. Don’t rely on TV for anything – least of all opinion or direction on the most incendiary of social issues occurring on your doorstep. For the record, Morris was making fools of celebrities years before Sasha Baron Cohen came on the scene. Borat was stolen.

The Mighty Boosh. Many of the best British comedies begin as radio shows. That is why script based comedy endures. The visuals only add to surreal and unhinged narratives of Fielding and Barratt. In the final coup de gras, these two fellows took their ritalin-goth selves to the stage. On a trip of self exile to the outer reaches of Britian, they fell under the spell of Old Greg, a lonely and psychotic lake faerie. Any similarities here between Old Greg and Chapelle’s Rick James, Bitch?

As an aside, both Fielding and Barratt appeared as equally self absorbed characters in Nathan Barley, Morris’ latest contribution to an amoral Britain. Most people hated “Barley”. Those that didn’t jerk their knees frenziedly were those that were honest enough to see themselves in this utterly disgusting human. Laugh at yourselves, we are all idiots.

Peep Show. Nothing kinky here. The show’s name derives from the filming that only used character eye views for the entire season. Peep show is another example of male weakness being the only remaining subject left to chortle at uneasily. We live in an age of stifled laughter … hearty laughter belonged to our parents. Embarrassed laughter is all we have.

America. Embarrass yourselves through comedy, not politics.

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Just a quick update to my predictions and then some laughs, in a catch-all post: So a few people have expressed surprise at my preference for a troop surge since it theoretically puts me in agreement with Bush, whom people know I think of as a psychopath. Like anything, I think there’s a right and a wrong way to do things. In my perfect world, Bush would realize cialis generic the error of his ways and send upwards of 30,000 troops to Iraq for a nonnegotiable term of 6-8 months. He would include, at cialis and flomax drug interactions the same time, well over $6 billion in reconstruction packages to native Iraqis that are only usable for the most vital infrastructure repairs. Priority generic viagra number one would be getting everyone water and electricity. All of this with a PR/diplomatic campaign that makes clear to everyone this change in priority, while shifting the responsibility of cialis find a bathroom secure urban areas to the local army what natural foods work like viagra and police. A recent article in the New Yorker poses the ‘war on terror’ as primarily a war of information that we are badly losing. Our arrogance and lack of compassion are playing right into the hands of the insurgency. We need to change our global image through both spin and practice. Hit that comments button to let me know what you think. As far as coupon for cialis Somalia, it looks like a viagra pill whole new batch of problems is just beginning. The Ethiopian forces misplayed their hand generic viagra online a bit, announcing they cvs viagra other names for viagra would be leaving

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as soon as possible due to the poverty of their own country. This seemed to be an attempt to get other countries in the area to commit forces, but despite promises from those countries, no troops have shown up. Shortly thereafter, local militiamen started attacking the presidential palace. side effects to cialis Meanwhile the pentagon is patting themselves on the back for a job well-done. Never mind the starving, angry people with guns, we got those damn al cialisonline-lowprice.com alternative viagra bayer Qaeda! So now that I’ve made you read my dangerously naive opinions about world events, I’d like to give preis viagra at something back: Have you ever played any early Final Fantasy games? I think this is genius …

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cummerbund

If there’s one thing our readers come to Hesitating for, it’s our razor sharp insight into global events and global fashion. Here’s Hesitating’s vision of 2007, or as we like to call it, DoubleBond (Casino Royale anyone?):

Keith on Iraq:

Ideally, we’d see a large, temporary troop surge all over Iraq, and a change in strategy to rebuilding infrastructure without the inflated bidding wars. I’m not sure of the pitfalls in giving local workers the money to rebuild their own cities, but this seems like a good idea. If the US military can change their position there from a dubious security force to providers of necessities, then this could ease diplomacy and provide a foundation for a complete withdrawal. What will actually happen? More foot dragging, a half-hearted and ineffectual troop surge without a significant shift in strategy, a precipitous withdrawal, or a strange cocktail of all three. There is no such thing as a good idea about Iraq, so let me have it for this one.

Keith on Somalia:

I only became aware of the continent of Africa a few days ago, but it would be disingenuous of me to refrain from commenting on something I know nothing about since this is, in fact, a blog. 2007 could be a turn around year for Somalia. The past week has seen a push of Ethiopian forces into Mogadishu, overthrowing a nascent Islamic force there. Ethiopia claims that this force posed a regional threat, but from what I can tell it had barely even taken control of Mogadishu before the surge. The US seems to be behind the curtain, supporting Ethiopia to crush an Islamic uprising. Meanwhile floods are killing and starving people in the rural parts of the country. A former veterinarian turned transitional Prime Minister, Ali Mohammed Gedi, has demanded that the locals turn in their guns. The methods by which power was taken were shady – and bloody, but it seems like there’s a shred of hope for the first time in years.

Mark on fashion:

2007 will see the rise and fall of the cummerbund. An immediate surge in sales of the antiquated waist-wear will follow 2007’s release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which will feature them on such actors as Gary Oldman, Allan Rickman, Ralph Feinnes, and newcomer, playing yet another incarnation of Professor Dumbledor following Michael Gambon’s death in early february 2007, John Goodman. The trend will be incorporated into cummerbunds for day, night, work, and golf. Sadly, by November 2007, cummerbunds will again loose their practicality and the headline in Elle will be: ‘Come-On’erbunds: Why Catch Crumbs This Winter When You Could Catch the Whole Loaf! Aprons will be offered as an alternative. They still hide the bottom of the tummy as it is allowed to sag over one’s pants, but with the added bonus of pockets.

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Then is pockets, pockets, pockets till 2008.

Happy New Year everybody!

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