Generic Strip Election day is coming, and unless I miss my guess you have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on except that Arnold is poised to mop the floor with Angelides and his horrible commercials… When I was growing up my complete political perspective was shaped by Berkeley Breathed and my father’s high-volume diatribes syphoned through a couple 40oz of Rainer shot rapid-fire at the television… Now that I’m an adult I feel more compelled to investigate things further and for the past week or so I’ve been leafing idling through the California Voter’s Information pamphlet in between reruns to educate myself about the issues of the year… As anyone who has ever cracked open such a guide knows the pamphlets are broken down into concise summaries of the ballot proposition written by some bureaucrat whose job is not likely to be affected by the results of the impending election… These summaries explain the core ingrediants of the ballot measure, the expected fiscal impact of implementation and, if you’re lucky, a breakdown of how this came to be on the ballot… Afterwards we’re treated to paid endorsements supporting or abhoring

the proposed item… If you’re like me you mostly pay attention to who signed their name to these arguments and vote accordingly, kind of like how you watch the television adverts… Has anyone else found this year’s crop to be especially delicious? I swear to god the geniuses behind some of these are gonna take Madison Avenue by storm– one recently unleashed beast has obviously been based on the breakout success of popular herpes medication commercials… Anyways, there’s many complicated issues involving state retrofitting projects, essentially the A-E props, which aren’t sponsered directly by Ghandi or Chrysler and, therefore, more difficult to navigate… Reading through the pamphlet yields that Prop 1A would prevent the taxes gleaned through the sale of gasoline and the tolls collected at weigh stations from being spent on anything other than transportation… By transportation they mean adding more lanes to more freeways, but that’s besides today’s exercise… The proponants, a shadowy congomeration of minds known as The One Plan to Rebuild California Now, complain about this legal loophole with which politicians (if anti-Semetism was still en vogue this would be interchangable with Jews) syphon off our hard earned dollars for their special interest cronies, yachts, illegal immigrant nanny/mistresses and prime rib dinners… The opponant to this measure is Jackie Goldberg who chairs the state assembly of education who argues that flexibility with tax revenue is key to budgeting and cites schools as what will suffer if the billions of tax revenue is locked into expanding all of Los Angeles’ freeways… Who do you trust? The shadowy organization includes everyone running for office this term and everyone who has ever run for office holding hands with various city groups from the Mexican border to the Bay Area… Jackie Goldberg is a dyke from LA who teached in Compton until she decided it was time to become a Democratic State Assembly member… Can’t decide? Neither can I, so let’s look at the law they’re changing… Okay, first of all you can’t get the full text online unless you’re prepared to download the fucking PDF file so we can’t do that… From what I recall the way things stand there’s an amount of revenue which is gained from gas and weigh station taxes which goes into a Transportation Fund… The California Energy Commision website is of no help… Don’t waste your time on the PDF’s… So I google: “california state budget” transportation revenue 2005 and get a page of various pages none of which appear to be actual budget data from the state… Let’s try “proposition 1A” california! Okay, so we find the

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legislative analyst’s breakdown of the proposition which is nice… There’s a blog entry and some paid hack sites and then we have this official text from the state which discusses the precursor ballot measure, Proposition 42 from 2002’s election cycle… So here we learn that this issue was recently voted on, that the loophole has been exercised twice to balance the state budget and that both sums borrowed from the transportation fund will be repaid within a period of time with interest… So remember when California couldn’t pay its employees and state buildings were unscrewing lightbulbs and shit? Some of the money dig out the shit came from the transportation fund… Fair enough– I can’t find it online but in the actual pamphlet there is mention of a 2/3 majority vote by the state assembly and approval of the governor for such a syphoning… So I guess with Prop 1A the next time the state can’t pay its employees– well how many are there? I can’t tell by browsing the DPA site… Frankly I have a headache already from this excursion and you’re bored to death and don’t care so why bother? So twelve more ballot propositions to learn about and all these motherfuckers running for office and then we’ll all be educated about the issues and able to make responsible, adult decisions…

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