Ah, yes, hello there. So you’ve decided to run your groping eyes all over my nubile prose. I admire your taste. As if reading this wasn’t its own reward, I’ve dropped a little breadcrumb below…

Just let that play while we sit and chat (thanks to William for this gem of wonder). I’ve decided to give a rundown of… ok, actually, just turn it off, it’s really distracting… I’ve decided to reveal the recent joys that del.icio.us has bestowed on me and any who subscribe to their ‘popular’ feed. Now, I find myself in an awkward position because, like a good mix-tape, you don’t want to start with your strongest stuff on a blog post. It has to be good, but there has to be room to really lay it on. I’m throwing this rule, and caution, into the wind to bring you the moneyshot up front:

Funny enough, a link that I came across only minutes after I saw that commercial answered my immediate question: What happens to the kids who grew up on shit like this? They raise kids like this, that leave white painted skidmarks on your soul and make you bust your crank on their soft heads. Serioulsy, I know it was the ’80s, but the pulsing synesthesia and macabre mescaline caverns of a corn pops comedown took me by surprise.

What those parents need is something that will curb the euphoric response their children receive from making daddy cry. These sentient child restraints will pin and detain those little goblins until you get home from work and deign to kick the food dish within their reach.

I know, too far. Maybe if I had put all this information in a list then people would excuse my cruel hypotheticals. See item #1 here. In fact, let’s have a short list of all the recent lists I’ve come across on del.icio.us:

Top 3 Lists

  1. 13 things that do not make sense
  2. 10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society
  3. 10 Most Expensive Cars

Those are actually three different titles for the same list.

I have to get back to keeping exciting things from happening at my corporate executive job and securing my white paint so the kids can’t get it, but I hoped you’ve enjoyed the tour (and remember, you’re being watched so I’ll know if you didn’t click through all the links).

I don’t know how to leave you, but I know we’re in the middle of something, we’re here to stay, and we raise our head for the color rEEEEEeeeEEeeeeEeeeEed.

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