Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

Daily Archive

Ah, yes, hello there. So you've decided to run your groping eyes all over my nubile prose. I admire your taste. As if reading this wasn't its own reward, I've dropped a little breadcrumb below…

Just let that play while we sit and chat (thanks to William for this gem of wonder). I've decided to give a rundown of… ok, actually, just turn it off, it's really distracting… I've decided to reveal the recent joys that del.icio.us has bestowed on me and any who subscribe to their 'popular' feed. Now, I find myself in an awkward position because, like a good mix-tape, you don't want to start with your strongest stuff on a blog post. It has to be good, but there has to be room to really lay it on. I'm throwing this rule, and caution, into the wind to bring you the moneyshot up front:

Funny enough, a link that I came across only minutes after I saw that commercial answered my immediate question: What happens to the kids who grew up on shit like this? They raise kids like this, that leave white painted skidmarks on your soul and make you bust your crank on their soft heads. Serioulsy, I know it was the '80s, but the pulsing synesthesia and macabre mescaline caverns of a corn pops comedown took me by surprise.

What those parents need is something that will curb the euphoric response their children receive from making daddy cry. These sentient child restraints will pin and detain those little goblins until you get home from work and deign to kick the food dish within their reach. I know, too far. Maybe if I had put all this information in a list then people would excuse my cruel hypotheticals. See item #1 here. In fact, let's have a short list of all the recent lists I've come across on del.icio.us: Top 3 Lists

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  2. 10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society
  3. 10 Most Expensive Cars

Those are actually three different titles for the same list. I have to get back to keeping exciting things from happening at my corporate executive job and securing my white paint so the kids can't get it, but I hoped you've enjoyed the tour (and remember, you're being watched so I'll know if you didn't click through all the links). I don't know how to leave you, but I know we're in the middle of something, we're here to stay, and we raise our head for the color rEEEEEeeeEEeeeeEeeeEed.

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I'd like to address what I feel is a complete lack of perspective by the Democratic party, of respect for the bible belt by the media, and of what we call cajones south cialis for daily use maximum dose of the fiercely guarded border, by canadian pharmacy discount drugs any charismatic viagra generic leader smart enough to read the paper every day. Specifically, the information documented in this (I hate to cite the rag but nothing means anything anymore so whatever, right?) Rolling Stone article and a recent analysis of Democratic strategy by the New Yorker. People can get lost in the details. People can also completely ignore the details and still make the right decision. Most of us have been burned by the former and the people who rely on the latter enough to make any sort of decision feel genericcialis-onlineed like your in the rat maze of some 13 year old with a cattle prod. That's why we have leaders who have a knack for finding a path through all the hmming and hahing. The Democratic party doesn't need to find the right concoction of issues to cater to a middle majority that they treat as some Damien child that can make or break their campaign on a whim. It's a pandering without any real respect for the people whose votes you want so desperately. Anyone who's tried to court a member of the opposite sex who knows she's attractive can tell you how appetizing desparation smells. The DNC is paying a third-party company a bunch of money to tell them how to speak to this foreign and flighty demographic, handing out pamphlets that sound like instructions written for robots on how to care for animals. The impression this gives is that the DNC views the middle as an alien other with incredible power, which right now is true. Democratic leaders like Nancy Pelosi are making murderous and embarrassing invectives against enemies of the U.S. in an effort to change the perception of Dems as soft on national security. As the New Yorker article observes, if you have to say you're tough, you're not. Not only is this all very bile boiling, it's just poor strategy. Everyone can see the insincerity, the calculations, it's just that the loyal left – like me – agree with the ends and so continue to cross their fingers and hope for the best. I'm betting the amount of money being poured into think tanks and strategists for both parties would solve many poor countries' infrastructure problems. So what to do? At this point it's difficult for the DNC to come off as having some core ideals that they didn't just cobble together from polls. They need to pick a single voice, no matter how imperfect because they're all imperfect, go after the incredible amounts of buy generic cialis online corruption (of which I suspect we've barely scratched the surface), and stop the media speculation about what the strategy will be for fall. We're going to win, next question. Even the New Yorker is ashamed of the bickering messages being bandied about. And most importantly, despite the media veil that says otherwise, keep in mind that Kerry didn't really fuck up. Whether or not you think that Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is full of shit, I think it's important to note that if the same discrepancy between exit polls and actual numbers happened in a third world country, everyone would've called BS. Part

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of it is the comfort I feel in thinking that the country that I live in wouldn't have elected an obvious liar (no matter what his politics) but I think the biggest fumbling of the trump card the Dems have been handed by way of lies and corruption would be to cater to voters who don't want to be catered to, they want to be lead.

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For some time now, videogames have been helping millions around the world avoid going outside or practicing the art of conversation. Hyper-violence that extracts attention span and slacks jaws is nothing new in these art forms, but a more recent viagra for sale @ canadian pharmacy online @ cialis coupon trend seems to be attempted connections of such activities to real-world happenings.

Kuma has been churning out this type of game for a while—the selling point being that the missions and settings for their games are based on actual military conflicts. The latest features a mission yet to unfold in real life—the invasion of Iran. (Mission features real working Bush Administration talking points!)

With viagravscialis-best.com the development of combat drones and well-published accounts and depictions of military men blurring the line between actual fighting and fighting experienced through a computer game, it would seem that Kuma is not alone in eroding the longstanding, carefully cultivated intellectual movement towards empathy.

Orson Scott Card’s science fiction novel Ender’s Game explores the use of technology towards perfecting the art of war—from genetic and psychological manipulation to war game simulations more real than they appear, the characters in this speculative military academy are shaped into human war tools that would make circa Republic Plato proud.

In this series of novels, Ender—the titular character—following a series of military successes declines to a state of passive self-destruction as the impact of his victories becomes more apparent. The book allows his personal struggles to function as a critique of the book’s speculative society, while simultaneously illustrating several characters that as a result of their conditioning do not have the capacity to weigh the consequences of their actions.

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The result may or may not be humorous. He didn’t knock ‘em dead, but keep in mind he was insulting 90% of his audience as well as humiliating a world leader. On the other hand, Laurence Fishburne seemed to have a good time at the party, and the middlingly generic cialis trusted tablets honorable Antonia Scalia belly-laughed through a series of crude hand gestures directed squarely at him. Even the unenviable Plames had some chuckles.

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Below is a photograph (AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian) of a German computer game magazine publisher attending this year’s E3 conference in Los Angeles in the company of a pair of Green Berets. What Roland Barthes would designate the “punctum” in this photograph must surely be the faces of this motley trio taken as a unit. They are a symptom of the generic viagra canada same disease that spawned the predominant media portrayal of the life and death of Pat Tillman.

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Depending on the films selected by whatever computer program or malicious human the airlines employ, an inflight movie experience can really help a flight speed by (King Kong and various Hugh Jackman vehicles being about top shelf). On a bad day, it's like thumbscrews on top of the rack. I spent 12 hours about two and one-half feet away from a video screen. After this Clockwork Orange flight, I'm actually unable to think or write about anything else but what was giving me a headache on the plane.

She's the Man
GodfuckIt's as stupid as the title, poster, and previews have likely led you to believe. A friend described his impressions of the film gleaned from the poster thusly: “Slapstick, gay jokes, credits.”

The film claims to be based on Twelfth Night by Shakespeare. The shipwreck thing has been replaced by a preachy-p.c.-gender-soccer subplot and in a clever conceit the entire film functions as a train wreck. Also omitted were the witty dialog and masterful suspension of disbelief.

The doughy faced Amanda Bynes unnecessarily mugs her way through 105 minutes of celluloid–a baffling running time, with 90 minutes or less being the rule of thumb for movies this disinterested and cash hungry.

David Cross is hilarious as the principal of the school where all of this impossible bullshit takes place. He manages to do this by pretending he's the only one in the scene, by my reckoning.

Movie fans will be sad to hear that the kinetic, intimidating soccer guy from Lock, Stock and Two

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There is a lot of yelling and music cues, and as predicted the film kind of sticks it to the gays–a somewhat baffling development considering that the source material explores a metaphysical view of gender and sexuality that was later to be aped, er, adopted by Virginia Woolf. Imagine if Shakespeare had a sister. Would this sister have been able to run away to London to drink and write plays? Apparently, if she faked a southern accent for no reason at all and taped her tits down, yes.

The Office: An American Workplace
It was ok.

16 Blocks
I spent most of the movie wondering how such ugly blackface comedy stylings made it past the studio suits in this age of tolerance, and was astounded when the credits rolled to learn I had been watching a real black man. Mos Def (referred to by everybody the whole movie as “The Kid”) sho 'nuff is happy when he's working in this film. Damn it, he's a simple man who wants to bake and decorate cakes while reforming crooked cops.

Nothing against Mos Def, as he actually does all right, considering what he's working with. Bruce Willis is pretty good as well, as a drunk cop who's so drunk, you wonder how he finds the time to get drunk. Transporting Mos Def the titular 16 blocks from his holding cell to the courthouse proves to be as difficult as not drinking. Things kick off when Bruce Willis stops mid-route to buy a bottle of twist-cap red wine which he starts drinking in the liquor store against the protests of the proprietors. This interval is all the bad guys need to start shooting at Lawdy Lawdy! Mos Def.

Then the cops also turn out to be bad guys and familiar faces slip into familiar roles. Bruce Willis winces in the movie. I think he's always wincing, actually. He has a bad leg. And then he gets shot in the hand, which leads to more wincing. Mos Def at one point comments that he never smiles.

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This is not surprising, because the movie is never, ever funny–a bad choice given that it doesn't deliver the sublimation promised by drama.

There is one twist, followed by a turn, and then later everything sorts itself out about twenty minutes after I stopped caring. A Barry White song plays during the credits, so don't leave early!

Pride & Prejudice
This latest incarnation is worth watching for the scene where Dame Judi Dench royally bitches out the famously A-cupped Keira Knightley, who should really gain ten pounds and be shoved out of the pictures. One gets the sense she doesn't understand her lines or give a shit. All she can do is crinkle her eyes and fake a warm smile, as well as occasionally get haughty in that by rote manner that's sort of killed this type of film. Buh buh BUH BUH buh buh buh. BUUH Buh buh buh. Buuuh BUH! *Door slams*

Donald Sutherland seems to get more charming with age, and is well-placed as a kindly uncle. He presides over countrified dance hall gaiety that always feels forced.

Other than that it was too boring to watch, with audience members of all demographics dropping like flies. It was sooo boring. At one point Mr. Darcy was talking to Mr. Bingley out on the moors and I was like, “What the fuck could possibly still be happening in this movie?”

RV
Mercifully not screened despite being scheduled.

Add to this a 24-hour layover at SFO courtesy of the TSA and transatlantic alarmists and maybe terrorists at some point as well and I am hangdog. Maybe you should watch Jackie Brown tonight. Really, think about it.

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