June 2006

Monthly Archive

“WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR
DO YOU SMASH IT QUICK
DO YOU TAKE THE GLASS
AND SLASH YOUR WRISTS”

From 'Identity' by X-Ray Spex

Hollywood physics would have made the scene impossible without a bong anchoring our little circle… Dim lighting, Hank Williams revolving slowly in the corner and meandering discussion of art certainly seems the likely result of some serious puffing and gagging but really there was a nearly empty box of Pacifico in the kitchen and many more empty cans of Pabst in my own personal history predating that… Somehow someone had pulled a notebook from a shelf and we were examining a quick sketch of an image from a dream and I was surprised that someone would attempt to preserve a memory by drawing– maybe this is another reason why discussions of art typically find me out on the porch or back stairwell smoking a cigarette…

Meanwhile the kids, both past and present conscripts at McArt, were a little mystified about my concentration on the events of my (rare) remembered dreams over the setting… Looking at the sketch I couldn't possibly imagine trying to relate in any detail what was pictured but I guess the crux of their curiosity is that it never really would have occured to me to take a moment to mention what things actually looked like while I swam around the horrors of my sub-conscious…

 I'm pretty sure this is how we ended up with my head needing scratching… Are you gonna wear your suit (recently bought to appear as a flackey in someone's recent wedding) for Twin Peaks? If you could dress to immitate your ideal what would that be? At first I took this as a gentle jab about my slovenly nature but a quick study of the other two in the room found little room for such criticism… I didn't understand, rambling about how I'm not very flamboyant, but apparantly my course was still set for a reef… If you could dress up without any societal constraints and 'become' someone or something what would that be? Like in bearskins? There was a begrudging yeah while wheels spun inside heads… Mine jumped the rails:

I used to run around town wearing this grey (soft)collared shirt that a friend had given me to impress prospective employers up and down the downtown offices… It may not seem particularly fancy but a grey button-down and Ben Davis was a big step in a direction from my evaporating t-shirts and jeans with holes in the seat… Obviously I never got any of the jobs but every time I was waiting outside smoking a cigarette watching the suits and bums stagger about I always felt like I'd infiltrated something– like a secret agent but with cheap plastic sunglasses that didn't shoot lasers at foreign dignitaries… I obviously didn't belong anywhere around here, certainly had no business standing on the steps of some 30-story office block, but this costume let me slip in and out of places effortlessly… Usually I get followed around the store when I buy toilet paper…

 Since I'd been drinking all day I related this to the other occupants of the room but the earlier begrudging yeah was revoked and I was stamped 'ignorant' and the

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matter moved on to some other one in the morning heart-felt, mind-expanding topic… But somewhere in the head the conversation had found a corner and taken a nap and when it woke up the next morning it began raising hell, demanding attention and wanting to know if I still thought it was beautiful or not…

It reminded me of a friend who worked at a TV station which was decidedly unhip and clueless… She had purchased and on occassion wore a studded belt which I thought was some serious Hot-Topic contrived bullshit but she found liberating… When she wore a belt people at her work had no idea what to make of it… Was she a slut? Is she into bondage? Maybe it's punk-rock? None of these were true but because people supplied their own answers she could exploit their interpretations and live as something other than herself for a little while…

If I had time… But I don't…

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Pierre-Étienne-Théodore Rousseau worked on The Forest in Winter at Sunset (above) for over twenty years. As I disappeared into the warm thrill of its terror, it occured to me that no matter what I do in my life it's unlikely that I will work on anything for twenty years, much less ten or five.

I was visiting the Met in New York, and this revelation – along with other works I saw there – brought to light an obsession I have with greatness. Not just my personal progress or regress towards an idea of it, but how it has changed over time and what it actually means.

In the past, to be canonized traditionally meant you had a single piece and/or a body of work that was impressive in its difficulty. Whether this meant massive tedium, groundbreaking insight, or thriving in spite of adverse circumstances varies from genius to genius (and those labeling them geniuses). For whatever reason, it was something that could be appreciated – but not duplicated – by

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Greatness used to be reached at an early age because people just didn't live that long. Dickens wrote Oliver Twist when he was 25 but he only lived until he was 58. Yet the age that genius is expected to emerge has remained static. If you haven't found your calling by the time you're 21, settle in for a nice long life of anonymity. The cycles of greatness have also become tighter and tighter, now averaging only a few years. Even consistently popular artists like the Rolling Stones simply spark new cycles rather than continuing the first (started when they were around 20 years old I might add).

Part of this fickleness has to do with the dilution of the product. The celebration of the everyman – recently brought to the vomiting point by ironically named reality television – as well as GarageBand, digital photography, and blogs, has eroded the barriers to entry into

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the gallery of popular awareness. This gallery has become so expansive that there are no longer Mona Lisas or Beatles, but only temporary and disposable Survivors (both show and band) and Piss Christs, and your projected life-span will not carry you through more than a relatively small number of these exhibits.

Perhaps we are witnessing the creation of Borges' Library of Babel, with its invariable distribution of galleries and absence of landmarks.

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And like Borges' story, I imagine that we travel in our youth to find a book, until our eyes are too poor to read, only to find ourselves a few galleries away from the one we left.

But the truth is that the times of greatness are romantically desirable and realistically horrible. We'd rather live longer, have our views expressed to even a modest sized audience instead of not at all, and build our personal kingdoms.

The current system of greatness both inspires – by demonstrating the amazing potential of the human race – and oppresses – by raising the fruit of cultural capital above the hands of the masses. A more inclusive system of greatness does not necessarily mean a lowering of standards, but perhaps a more comprehensive documentation. Biographies and stories of triumph read like grad school resumes: They string together life's events as if they were always leading to their destination. In reality, even the most profound geniuses have their failures, doubts, and red-herrings. On the other side of the coin, many instances of brilliance go uncelebrated because the surrounding context did not support the incident.

Many of us collect artifacts of greatness as if our selective appreciation of genius or heroism would somehow allow us to bask in its glow. I would recommend a complete disposal of this practice if it didn't leave us all directionless and empty. I still might. The best we can do in the meantime is to practice a more robust value system and realize that yes, as readers we play a vital role in the meaning of cultural artifacts, but we still didn't make them.
Update: A strange parallel to this entry was posted on wired.com today.

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Events continue to interrupt my attempts at an ostrich-like existence sitting inside and reading or listening to records. Maybe I should just stick to the book when I decide my stomach hurts because it requires a sandwich, not because I’ve been drinking coffee for several hours and not burning any of it off, but the usual practice is to watch a little television for the ten minutes or so I dedicate towards nourishment. Now, I’ve been off the grid and out of the loop for a good while now which causes a strange sense of deprivation to descend during these five minute intervals of cultural barrage. I’ve usually been the one that was up on the news, read the paper, watched the reports and even if I didn’t have anything insightful or interesting to add I could at least keep up with the conversation. Now I feel

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pretty lucky when I catch Jeopardy and pretty stupid when I get things wrong. I still try and catch my English broadcasts of DW-TV and earlier I was even around for the News Hour on PBS but typically these only serve to show the extant of my ignorance as to what the fuck is going on around here. I’d heard somehow about the NSA data-mining a while back and it didn’t really strike much of a chord emotionally or anything. I mean, what else did you expect, free ice-cream? It helps, of course, that I’m hardly anyone’s idea of a terrorist and if my scant phone conversations warrant any attention by way of keywords it’s only me and my friend down in Phoenix talking about how he works for the Taliban which really just means the coffee shop run by a couple Egyptian guys. I’m not prone to long distance calls, let alone international ones, so the Taliban thing probably just floats around in a tank full of ones and zeros. That’s not the point– I’m supposed to care about things even when they’ve got fuck all to do with me. Racial profiling? Bad shit, even if it’s never going to be an issue for me personally because I’m as white looking as an Alabama Protestant. Immigration reform? I’m not immigrating anywhere but I’ve still my little opinions about the matter. So when the US government is collecting phone conversations (indescriminantly or not) I’m supposed to be incensed and I am when I remember that I’m supposed to be incensed. That’s all well and good and now a bunch of middle-class college kids are fighting the man and eventually the spooks can go back to spying on people without it being a topic of discussion just like it’s always been. What irritates me more than the fact that people have to file suits against the government to have the matter out in the open is that I learned of that while reading MRR on the pot. So I sit and eat this rissoto I’ve just spent an hour and then some making flavorless on the stove and the news has a newzbite about ATT, the company paired with the NSA in the data-mining lunacy, selling actual phone calls to major companies like my bank to have the data, eh, mined for (I assume) marketing purposes. Let’s imagine that ATT is a single entity as is the NSA and big bad Mr. NSA comes and asks a favor. ATT’s a little nervous about it because ATT knows full well this is not gonna make ATT a very popular kid on the block. Big bad Mr. NSA could probably beat the shit out of ATT and get whatever he wants but being a class act who happens to wish to remain nameless instead introduces ATT to some other single entities like BofA, Merril-Lynch or whoever the fuck and suggests everyone make a deal. Did that make sense? I don’t have time to edit or check facts or even really thing at the library here but it makes me a little suspicious that the NSA coerced ATT by promising that the collected data could be sold to other companies for more American activities like calling me about my fucking mortgage. I suppose Safeway kinda does the same thing when I use my mom’s club card to get fifteen sense off that brick of cheese and that jar of pickles but they’ve never bothered calling about anything. Some people don’t trust the government and invest their faith in free market business while others don’t trust free market business and invest faith in the government while most people, I would hope, can’t really tell the difference and spend their days reading and listening

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to records in hopes of avoiding having to deal with either. So my little head has had its normally scheduled programming interrupted for a contextually raw news item and when I try to lock the world out by watching a movie I land in The China Syndrome which is a cute little chick-flick about a nuclear power plant, a nearly catastrophic event and how big money attempts to usher in shit under the noses of the feds and make bigger money at the risk of making Southern California even more uninhabitable than it already is. Despite some poorly made choices pandering to the action oriented appeal of such movies it was pretty good and I would recommend it if you ever wonder what it must have been like when Three Mile Island had a little melt-down imediately after theatrical release. Which also made me think about the book “Toxic Sludge is Good for You“, specifically the chapter about infiltration into anti-nuke groups by industry spies. The point I recall is that the government has to subsidize the insurance at plants because no one else will and that’s tax money. Then you pay for power and pray you don’t die, I guess. -Q&D

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I found this image on Harvard's Web site. The project it is part of involves a concept known as gravitational lenses. Understanding the effects of gravity on light is essential for accurate calculations in deep space astronomy.

Haunted Castle
As the program's site explains, this image contains two renderings of the same subject–one inside the other. The image is built on a computer, simulating the changes that the gravity of something like a black hole would effect.

What interests me in this kind of picture is the forced reinterpretation of what we are viewing. The image is difficult to process in many ways. The probable reason is that our everyday lives do not involve cosmic events on the order of a black hole. If Harvard can be believed, (and the jury's still out) if we managed to be alive in the presence of a black hole our

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lives would be incredibly confusing.

Eating would be terrifying, as a simple meal could quickly resemble light-speed travel. Your baked potato would be the center of a force that was shifting your surroundings in such a way as to disrupt your ideas about matter.

Stepping off of a typical city bus would land you on a church steeple, but if you rubbed your eyes you would be standing next to a bench plastered with urine-soaked newspapers and could probably navigate to a phone booth or bar.

Dancing would almost certainly land you in jail, and if your boss heard about it you'd get fired.

We call the glass in our doors' peepholes a “fisheye” lens, but our humaneye lenses are generally taken for granted. However, we do give the eyes a special place in our physiology, alongside the heart and the ass in terms of recurrence within collocations.

While some people rely heavily on their asses to accomplish many things, perhaps a greater number trust their own perception to see them through difficult situations. Our own experience is our most valuable guide, but it is becoming more apparent that we're only getting half the story even from ourselves.

I say the time is right for an eyeball that works as hard as I do. In a world where I may well after all be going the speed of light because there's nothing not moving for me to measure against, I'd like to believe that at least my own personal visual perception isn't hung up on something like gravity.

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Apologies about my Wednesday post… As romantic an idea guerilla reports from the jungles of SF may be the reality is ditching something in the middle because your bladder has swelled and your nervous quaking is disturbing those around you… Must think of a better operation!

-B

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